so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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