About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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