Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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