He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
