haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
