yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
