I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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