Your dad touched me again.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
