She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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