WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
a search helicopter?!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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