this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When did angry sex become our thing?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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