It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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