found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
