I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
