I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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