I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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