I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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