Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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