The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize