Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
