:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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