i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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