He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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