if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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