people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
