yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
