I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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