I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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