Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
