Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
