I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
