none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
