scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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