I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
