You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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