I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Randomize
