This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
