Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
