The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
