She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
