They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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