Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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