I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
