i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
