Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize