guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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