I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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