Non-Jews are for practice
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
