Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
