we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
