The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize