He had one of those small greek statue penises
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
