Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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