i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
