i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
