the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
