But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
