Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
