Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
