We tried having a conversation with our noses.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
