oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
