DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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