..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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