Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
