you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize