worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
