so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm drive I can fine osifer
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
