I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I want to have your abortion
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize