Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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