Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
