would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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