he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
