Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
