Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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