Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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