just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
FUCK WHALES
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
