Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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