there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
