I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
