I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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