Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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