i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
